#20 To All The Vampires From Burlington, VT
'tis the season for soup, YA dystopia, and sob folk
Happy Wednesday (It’s Tuesday),
This year was the first year I reached into my closet to get down my Christmas decorations from last year. The first year I navigated by memory to the same tree lot as last year. The first year I invited the same people over for hot coco by the fire as last year. Now, this may not seem like some astronomical feat to some, but for those of us who have moved every eleven months since we left our childhood home eleven years ago, it’s huge news on the stability front. Maybe this is how traditions are made. Maybe they are as simple as staying still.
One of my favorite Christmas traditions is watching The Family Stone with my friend Ryan. Ryan is Jewish, and he lives in Philadelphia, and we haven’t actually watched it synchronously or in the same time-zone since college, but every year without fail, I’ll get a text from him with a video of the opening credits to our favorite Christmas movie. Every year, without fail, I’ll respond with a line that brings me to tears. I can’t remember exactly how this started or when we silently agreed to it, but I know that he is the only person I do this with. And I know that it is special. It’s tradition going on ten years.
I — up until recently — had a habit of booking it out of every city I’d ever lived in as soon as my lease expired, which made each year feel *new* and *exciting* but also foreign and exhausting. Being unpartnered in a blended, fractured, re-blended, and re-fractured family can make the holidays feel confusing and lonely. Add the backdrop of geopolitics, religion, and career change and you’ve got a recipe for some existential thoughts and dark journal entries. However, this year I feel more equipped to deal with all that the holidays dredge up, as I’ve been reminded of the rituals I have built and sustained despite the inconsistency of my life. This is the first year I’ve celebrated a second Christmas in the same apartment. The first time I’ve been able to return to comforts I’ve built. The first time I’ve stayed put.
If you would have told me a few years ago that I’d live in an apartment I feel safe in, that I’d live by myself without feeling lonely, that I’d meet new friends based on shared interests and common values, that I’d find space for creativity and whimsy, that I wouldn’t please half the people I used to, but that I’d feel twice as free, I would have rolled my eyes and said something slick about how naive you sounded and how ignorant you were about the oh so very complex woes of my world. I wish I could give early-twenties me a hug (I’m better at those now, too) and tell her how full of shit she was but how okay she would be eventually. How the shoes will never stop dropping, but how she will learn to dance between the ducking and the dodging.
I’ve spent a lot of days scrolling through unspeakably violent, horrific footage from journalists and analysts interrupted by wholesome holiday recipes and cozy nights-in with friends, and I’m reminded of how Suzanne Collins came up with the idea for The Hunger Games in the first place. These are hard times. While many of us worry about metaphorical shoes dropping, millions worry about US-funded bombs. While I reflect on the benefits of staying still, millions are displaced from their homes who would remain if they could.
This is not to shame or guilt us into despair or complacency — this is to remember that hope is the only thing stronger than fear. Giving up feels easy and distracting yourself feels tempting. I wish I had words that helped ease pain. They feel harder to find recently. But where my sentences lack, maybe you’ll find something else here that you need. A song. A lyric. A project. A reason. I hope you find your reserves of energy. I hope you use them to take care of yourselves and each other. I love every single one of you. None of us are free until all of us are free.
XO,
M
🎵 Top Songs 2k23 (Spotify wrapped playlist) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
To the surprise of absolutely no one, my Spotify wrapped was a collection of people with guitars singing mostly about goodbyes, farewells, endings and also, departures. According to Wrapped, my listening style is Vampire from Burlington, VT. I can’t really argue since…my top song? On The Train Ride Home by The Paper Kites. If you want to really get to know me, listen to my Top Songs of 2023 playlist below. Don’t worry, I have an excellent therapist.
🎵 Sweet Moment (playlist, random moody vibes) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I haven’t been to any shows recently since I’ve been battling a gnarly head-cold, but I have been listening to moody ethereal sob folk. Enjoy the playlist below and big ups to Pareesa for introducing me to Dirty Magazine — that whole album is beautiful.
More and more TikTok and YouTube become the way I discover new artists when I’m not going to as many shows. I sort of hate the format of the videos in this newsletter, but I like sharing them because many times these indie performers don’t have much of a presence on Spotify yet. Take a listen :)
🎵 Kashus Culpepper (outlaw/bluegrass)⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ouuuu I was stopped in my tracks with this one. A sound that reminds me of Chris Stapleton/Teddy Swims/ Tyler Childers. Kashus Culpepper hails from Alabama, and I bet you’re gonna be seeing a lot of him in the next year or so. By the looks of it on Tiktok, he’s got an album in the works. :) We should be so lucky.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
🎵 Deyaz (sob folk / acoustic) ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love this dude’s voice. His covers make me just as teary as his originals. His song “Dylan” written about his brother sends me to another planet. If you’ve ever been separated from a sibling because of reasons out of your control…maybe grab the Kleenex first. Check him out on Spotify or Tiktok. PS. Face tats + folk might be my new fave combo.
🎬 The Long Call via Britbox /Amazon (TV Series, UK Police Drama, 2021) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
If you’ve been around long enough, you know that there is nothing I enjoy more than a rural police drama that unfolds slower than paint dries. Behold: The Long Call! Also is there anything better than a Detective Inspector kissing his husband goodbye before going to his estranged dad’s funeral? That may be my new favorite genre of television. The scenes where he speaks about his sexuality with his family and his partner brought me to tears. CW: religious trauma, homophobia
🎬 The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Dystopian, Action 2023) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’ll admit I watched the first two installments of The Hunger Games movies in the mid 2000s and never bothered to watch the rest. Though I enjoyed Woody Harrelson and was entertained by the plot, I wasn’t swept up by any fandom craze at the time. However, when a few friends of mine decided to read the 2020 prequel as a group before the newest movie came out earlier this month, I jumped on The Hunger Games band wagon. First, I re-watched the series and watched the last two movies for the first time. Then I began reading the prequel, went to see it in theaters, finished the prequel, and saw the film again. (I still have bruises on my arm from where Pareesa gripped my arm for dear life at the Bay Street cinema).
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is a look at how a regime like Panem became an even more brutal and authoritarian government after war and how leaders like Coriolanus Snow could rise to power by capitalizing on people’s fear. I highly recommend reading the book first to understand his character more (the movie makes him seem way less duplicitous and conniving than he is in the book, IMO…like we aren’t rooting for him…at least I wasn’t).
You don’t have to have seen The Hunger Games to understand this movie, though watching them before heading to the theater may make the dopamine hit of all the easter eggs that much sweeter.
🎬 Billy The Kid (Western, Romance 2022) ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Okay, if you felt disgusting lusting after Tom Blyth as a future war criminal in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, may I introduce you to Tom Blyth as an outlaw cowboy fugitive murderer in 1877 New Mexico. Reader, he speaks Spanish and loves his mom…be so serious. I’m willing to bet the Plinth Prize MGM+ streaming service saw an uptick in subscribers because of this man and his wool jacket alone. (I have to stress that this series isn’t very good, but Tom Blyth is very pretty and a believable Billy). Okay who am I kidding, I don’t know anything about Billy the Kid, but I’d believe anything Tommy told me.
📚Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear by Mosab Abu Toha (poetry, 2022) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I picked up this collection in a bookshop around the corner from me a few days after getting back from DC. In addition to being a phenomenal, award-winning poet, Mosab Abu Toha also opened the Edward Said Public Library, the first English speaking library in Gaza City just a few years ago, giving lectures on the University circuit about its founding. In November, Mosab was kidnapped by Israeli Occupation Forces, and though badly beaten with his clothes and belongings stolen (including the passport for his American-born son) he reported via Instagram that he made it to Egypt this week with his wife and child, though members of his family remain in danger in Gaza. I have not been able to find out whether his library has survived the relentless air strikes.
📚The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Dystopian, Action 2020) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot: The Dark Days after the war have ended and an orphaned Coriolanus Snow is an ambitious student at The Academy in Panem, an educational institution for The Capitol’s elite ten years after The Rebels’ defeat. Having nothing but his family name and the image of previous wealth and influence, Coriolanus hopes to use his new position as mentor in the 10th annual Hunger Games to restore his family’s reputation and secure his future in the brutal government of Panem. The tribute he is assigned to, however, is unlike anyone he has ever met. Sparks fly. People die.
The characters in this book are fascinating and we see just how much of the future President Snow’s character is formed before, during, and after the 10th Hunger Games and how different people faced with very similar circumstances can develop completely different values and choose entirely opposing world views. Dr. Gaul, Dean Highbottom, and Tigris all influence Coriolanus just as much as his intimate relationships with Lucy Gray and Sejanus Plinth.
📚The Hunger Games Trilogy (Dystopian, Action 2008-2010) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Suzanne Collins…what do you put in these things? 👀 Jk. I know exactly what it is. Behold! The Hunger Games equation of dystopia: Shakespearean Nomenclature + Greek Myth + Roman Entertainment + Western Imperialist Foreign Policy + Exported US Capitalism & Apartheid + Teen Romance.
Plot: Katniss Everdeen is a sixteen-year-old girl from District 12, a coal mining territory in Panem, which is all that seems left of North America at the time these books take place. Each year The Capitol requires that one boy and one girl from each of the 12 remaining districts be reaped into The Hunger Games to fight to the death as a reminder to their districts of what happens when they try to rebel against authority. When Katniss’ younger sister is chosen to compete, Katniss finds herself volunteering to take her place and thus begins her fight for survival in The Arena.
PS: the audiobooks are so so good.
When The Hunger Games trilogy came out in 2008, 2009, and 2010, I was in high school and uninterested in reading any more dystopian fiction than was required. I was up to my eyeballs in Le Guin, Bradbury, Huxley and Vonnegut and couldn’t imagine spending my free time reading about more teenagers dying under the cruel thumb of oppressive regimes.
I’m now reading the series for the first time and am really impressed with how Collins uses the world and the characters in it to explore just-war theory and how unsubtle she is in her comparisons to the governments of the United States and its allies in apartheid and empire.
I agree with the many people who say that a main reason for the popularity of books like The Handmaids Tale, The Hunger Games, Fahrenheit 451 etc. are that their protagonists are white and also the victims of state sanctioned surveillance and violence and thus garner sympathy from white audiences and staying power on bestsellers lists. Many of these terrifying moments for these white main characters in fiction, however, are realities for many people of the global majority subjugated by white supremacist capitalism and colonialism. In fact, Palestinians have been making comparisons between the occupations since these films came out and unfortunately two main plotlines of Mockingjay seem to be more relevant in 2023 than ever before. I won’t spoil those parts if you haven’t read or seen Mockingjay, but the parallels are not camouflaged.
My friend Lyric and I often discuss the purpose of reading — some read with the express purpose of entertainment, others read for intellectual stimulation, existential escape or spiritual growth... the list goes on. I’m not here to yuck anyone’s reason for reading, and our reasons can be as varied as the moods we experience in a given day. However, I do believe that regardless of content, writing and reading are political acts and how we engage with books matters. That is why I am excited to announce Lyric has started a book club specifically centered around books that various governments have banned.
Banned Book Club: facilitated by Lyric Rose
is reading one banned book per month in the new year. If you wanna chat all things anti-establishment, follow their Substack for updates.January’s Book Club Pick: Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward
Join the Whatsapp group here!
🧁 Redemption Soup (AKA: Butternut Squash Soup w/ Sweet Potato & Roasted Garlic) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I made a butternut squash soup for my friends Pareesa and Lana, and I was lazy and used an immersion blender instead of my Vitamix. With the third bite in her mouth, Pareesa exclaimed “wow…I love this bowl of chunks.” Reader, it was supposed to be a smooth, pureed soup. So…I took time to regroup and hopefully….this redeems me.
Ingredients:
Chicken Broth: I made mine from scratch using the carcass of Molly Baz’s Pastrami Roast Chicken w/ Schmaltzy Onions & Dill with some celery, onion, and carrot.
2 heads garlic
1 red onion
1 Sweet Potato
Salt
Pepper
Butternut Squash
Directions:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees
Slice butternut squash in half and remove the seeds
Slice sweet potato in half
Slice heads of garlic in half
Slice red onion in half
Place all veg on a baking sheet and drizzle generously with olive oil, salt, and pepper
After about 20 minutes, turn butternut squash and sweet potatoes faceside down.
The sweet potato, garlic, and onion will not take as long as the squash, so keep an eye out and remove those bits while the BNS keeps cookin’
Put everything in a blender with like 1.5 cups of broth (I only used 1/2 of the sweet potato because I …well I ate the other half while I was waiting for the squash to be done didn’t I?)
Add salt and red pepper flakes to taste :)
Serve with bread yeeee
DIY projects and crafts
⛏️ DIY Floating Shelves ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I did this DIY this past week in my bedroom, and reader, I am obsessed. All you need is adhesive hooks and bamboo dish racks (super cheap and easily thrifted!) In fact, if you want 2 dish racks, I randomly have extra. I will literally send them to you for free just DM me.
I’ve been following Medina for a few years and always love her DIYs and style upgrades for renters. She is open about her politics and speaks about the intersections of her identities and how that contributes to how she styles her home. She seamlessly integrates her content to reflect what she cares about (these bookshelves give her an opportunity to discuss and share the books she is reading to educate herself on the history of Palestine, for instance).
📱 Tessa Creates (small batch jewelry)
My friend Tessa (of Big Pasta Podcast fame) has a new holiday collection in her jewelry shop! Take a look at her new creations on her website. A percentage of every purchase will go toward The Palestine Red Crescent Society for aid relief in Gaza.
📱 Palestinian - Owned Companies (holiday gifts)
With boycotts still going strong and more and more people doing thrifted, crafty, and small business holidays this year, check out this “extensive but not exhaustive” list of Palestinian companies to support this season (and always!)
📱 The Unpublishable (newsletter on beauty industry)
Back by popular demand (aka 3 people asked me to put this in here) I love Jessica DeFino! Her articles are super engaging, and I love that she’s a beauty editor who holds herself and others accountable re: perpetuating/interrupting super unrealistic and warped, white supremacist, sexist, ableist beauty standards.
📱 Leftie (video essays / analysis on popular series)
This content creator analyzes books, TV series, and films — everything from costumes to character arcs to deep lore. I sometimes listen to her playlists before bed. TikTok has recently de-monetized her account but she’s got a YouTube Channel she posts on as well.
After the last edition of the newsletter, my friend Ryan sent me a voice note which I have transcribed for you below.
11:23 PM ET: “I just read your blog post and really resonated with the ode to background singers. And at the same time as important as they are…sometimes they’re just…not around. And the show must go on anyway. And with that I am sending you an important piece of gay culture if you haven’t already seen it which is Ms. Patti LaBelle’s performance at the White House of This Christmas in which her backup singers are nowhere to be found and she goes on anyway.”
Honorable mention to this Tiktok video…I cannot get enough of this guy lip syncing the dames.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Shout outs to:
To Toni, who reminds me to watch where I step — there is usually art on the ground.
To Tessa who’s been on the most beautiful, healing, creative journey. It’s been the joy of my life watching you create your own art and business aligned to your values this year.
To Gem for her solo plane trip and showing herself love
To Nicole for her choral performance
To Lyric for great conversations about disability, faith, and liberation
To Lana who has written over 100,000 words of fanfiction in her first year alone — one of the most creative writers I know
To my friends meeting up in Dublin this week — have the best time!
To the Hunger Games group chat for reigniting a love of buddy reading for me
To the Blond Buzz Cut group chat for making me cackle at Tom Blyth edits while also talking about liberation (get you a chat that can do both!)
To Pareesa for our cozy writing nights (and to Alan for the nachos) #aroundthecornergirl
To Yuli who read a book I recommended and liked it (my love language)
To The Barnacles :) Our Christmas Tree ornament brings me so much joy
To Devon who always shows up for hard conversations and reminds me that family isn’t just something you are born into, but something you choose. Thank you for choosing me.
To my friends who have continued posting, marching, engaging with content in hopes of bringing a ceasefire, ending a genocide, and persisting with liberation
Ending Note:
Turn to your poets. Lean on one another. Be safe and love hard. <3
XO,
M
As always, I appreciate your insight to our current socio- political climate. Thanks for putting the word out there that we need to keep talking about this. Also, thanks for sharing Palestine owned businesses!
I'm actually really excited to check out your wrapped playlist! I'm somewhat familiar with the Paper Kites and everytime you mention them I remind myself I need to listen more. Also a singer that sounds like Chris Stapleton/Teddy Swims/ Tyler Childers?? Say LESS.
Anyway, banned book club is an AMAZING idea. I think reading with like-minded folks could easily help motivate those of us who struggle to get through certain books but really want to (aka, me lol).